The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondō
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

My mother is a hoarder. There's no two ways about it. She never saw a thing she didn't want to keep. I don't want to go too deep into the psychology of it all, but mental illness plays a part in this.

Thankfully, I didn't inherit the hoarding genes. I'm not a neat freak, either, not by any means. I, like most people, fall in the middle somewhere. I do recall, however, a time in my life when everything I owned fit into a military duffel bag (no, I was not in the military at the time). This lasted for about a year and, you know what? It felt good. Really good. But you fall in love, you get married, you have kids, and next thing you know, you've got stuff. Again, I'm not a hoarder, so it's not like I'm overburdened with my stuff. But we have a small home (I wouldn't have it any other way) and from time to time you just need to get rid of stuff.

Most years, I will do spring cleaning of my wardrobe. This means I will toss a t-shirt or two that has become full of holes or a sweater that's become unraveled. If I'm feeling really ambitious, I will use the "three year rule" - if I haven't used it for three years, I get rid of it, unless I have a really good reason to keep it.

This past year, I didn't do my normal spring cleaning. Also, my income is a lot more steady and I've earned a little extra from various writing projects, so I've had the luxury of buying a few more things, mostly books, as you might imagine.

So when I stumbled across this title, I thought what the heck, I'll give this book a shot.

I admit that, at first, my eyes rolled completely around in my head (I saw the inside of my skull) when I read the cutesie manner in which the book was written. But Kondo had some solid ideas, and if I set aside the "twee," the book was actually pretty captivating and read very quickly.

I'm not going to go into all the details of Kondo's methods, but they seemed to work for me. So far, I've only gone through my wardrobe, but I took two large bags of clothing to the Goodwill down the road from us and felt really good about it. The main gist of Kondo's method is "if it brings you joy, keep it, if it doesn't, don't". Now, I added the practical caveat that if it's something I use regularly or that serves a specific task that nothing else can serve, keep it. But by and large, she's got it right. Why saddle yourself with stuff that doesn't bring you joy?

But what about those sentimental/nostalgic items? This is where I found her advice really useful. She notes that the joy of receiving gifts is mostly in the receiving. How many times have you kept something you didn't really want because someone gave it to you? They're happy about having given you something, your relationship was probably solidified by the giving of the gift, and you're better for having participated in that interaction. But do you really need to hold on to this thing that you don't really like and that serves no practical purpose in your life? Nope. Get rid of it. And do it all at once - don't try to nip and tuck, just suck it up and DO IT! That's how I cleaned my clothes out. One day. No time to get overly sentimental. Just do it.

One thing that makes getting rid of these (and other) items more palatable seemed really cutesie to me, at first, but in looking back on the experience, this one "trick" helped me a great deal: Thank your item for the purpose it served. Yes, seriously, hold the item up and thank it. "Thank you for serving as a great pair of shoes for so long," or "thank you for bringing my friend joy by her giving of you to me". It sounds ridiculous, but there is something psychologically freeing about saying the words aloud.

Now, I need to go through my books. I love books. Some of them I love dearly. And some of them I have paid a good amount of money for. But when I look back, I have to ask myself: "Which of these can I get from the library or online, if I really need them?" and "Which of these have I re-read, really?" There are a few volumes that I've re-read multiple times and some that I know I must read again. Some are reference books that I use for my own writing (see my caveat above). But, in all honesty, I can sell off or give away a good portion of them and not miss them, if I'm honest with myself. So that's the next step. I don't have a certain number of books I want or need to get rid of, but I can quickly identify several that won't make the cut, that I will either give away or sell. Probably sell, so that I can buy others. And the circle continues. As some of you know, I've been trying to cut my TBR list down to about 50 titles. Some of those titles are rather expensive. So if I sell off a portion of the books I don't read, I might be able to afford some of those more expensive titles. And hopefully I'll love them enough to want to keep them. Or maybe I'll sell them off, in time, as well (hopefully at a return on investment - I'm sentimental, but I'm not stupid).

After having gone through my clothes and given a couple large bags full away, I'm feeling like a lean, mean, fighting machine. Not spartan, mind you. But not a hoarder, either. I have what I need and if I need more, I'll get it. No sense in being burdened by un-necessary stuff.

Books: you're next. I love you guys. But some of you will be even better loved at another home.

Then, after the books, it's all the miscellaneous stuff. Actually, I can't wait to get to that. I'm guessing that this whole process will probably take me until the end of the summer or so? I did my clothes in one day. Books will take one full day. The other stuff? I dunno. That might take a while. But I'm going to do it. I feel too good after leaning down my clothes to the ones that give me joy to not do this with my other things. Cutesie or not, Kondo is on to something.

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