Saturday, March 11, 2017

The Umerican Survival Guide Kickstarter

Reid San Filippo, creator of Crawling Under a Broken Moon and all around great guy, has announced the kickstarter for his "Umerican Survival Guide," a sourcebook for post-apocalyptic gaming based on the Dungeon Crawl Classics rules set. I am SUPER pumped about this kickstarter. Reid has been creating some amazing material for quite some time now - material that can be used far beyond the bounds of DCCRPG. If you're a fan of Thundarr the Barbarian at all, you'll find a lot to love here, as Umerica is steeped in the tradition of your favorite sun-sword wielding, fur-clad wizard killer.
Here are Reid's own words:

Greetings!I am pleased to announce that the Umerican Survival Guide Kickstarter is now live and ready to accept your pledge! What is the Umerican Survival Guide? Umerica is a super science & sorcery post apocalyptic setting for the Dungeon Crawl Classics role playing game from Goodman Games set in a weird, twisted version of North and Central America. It originated in the Crawling Under a Broken Moon fanzine but the Umerican Survival Guide is a fully revised and fleshed out version of the setting.

Please go to to read more about the project and see all of our amazing pledge options.

Thank you for all of your support,

Reid San Filippo

There are two covers available, my favorite is the Delve cover:

This is the sort of iconic art that is going to be referred to for years to come!

The Chase cover isn't too shabby, either:

I mean: Velociraptors on motorcycles chasing mutants and robots - HOW COOL IS THAT?!?

So get on over to the kickstarter. If it hits the $14,000 mark, I will be adding my adventure Killer of Giants to the mix. Here's the summary:

"In the days before Disaster, the Ancients hid stars inside great pillars buried deep beneath the ground, unleashing their unholy powers. Some still lie slumbering, entombed under the crust of Umerica. Great treasures are rumored to sleep with them. Do you dare try to wake The Killer of Giants? This mini-sandbox adventure takes explorers directly to the heart of the destructive devices that heralded the dawn of the age of mutants. Dangers contemporary and ancient abound, on the land, under the ground, and in the sky. Explorers will need to use every ounce of their wits and brawn to master what even the Ancients could not. Will these discoveries bring enlightenment or usher in an even more intense localized dark age? Only the explorers themselves can decide!"

So, please, back this kickstarter and tell ALL of your gaming friends on Twitter, Google+, Facebook, and anywhere else you can be heard. Let's make this one a resounding success!

Friday, February 24, 2017

The Complete Symphonies of Adolf Hitler and Other Stories

The Complete Symphonies of Adolf Hitler and Other StoriesThe Complete Symphonies of Adolf Hitler and Other Stories by Reggie Oliver
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

You know, I've always been more of a short story reader than a novel reader. Yeah, I'm that oddball. I'm also much more of a short story writer than I am a novel writer. Maybe it has something to do with attention spans. But I think I just like the brain-juicing rush I get from a really great short story, whether reading or writing. Cheap thrills? Maybe. But they're my cheap thrills!

Problem is, short story collections are really difficult to review. Say too much about each story and it's really easy to spoil things. Say too little about each story and your review becomes pithy. And only after reading the entire collection can one really assess the author's overall oeuvre (well, for that collection, at least) and it's sometimes difficult to go back and piece together what it is you think about the author's work without re-reading every story.

So I guess all I have to offer here are my notes on The Complete Symphonies of Adolf Hitler and Other Stories, modified and elaborated on a tiny bit from my original notes, with a little summation at the end.

Before I dive in, though, please let me state for the record that Reggie Oliver is a magnificent stylist. Reading his work is easy. Not that the language is banal, not by any means. It just simply flows incredibly well. In both style and subject matter, M.R. James and an easier-to-understand Lord Dunsany come to mind as the best comparisons for Oliver's voice. But that is boiling things down too much. Olivers voices are rich and more widely varying than James and/or Dunsany. But the sheer ease-of-use to the reader make these stories smooth as silk. A dark, corrupted, sometimes terrifying silk, like a silk noose, but smooth, nonetheless.

Anyway, on to the stories:

The title story (and who could resist such an incredible title?) is a weird sort of weird. It's very moody, but not edgy, The narrator is a bit paranoid, but justifiably so. Still, his fears are a little unjustified, but this makes his flaws all the more critical to the story. I like this story a lot, but I don't know if I can place my finger on exactly why. And I like that lack of definition. It works to the point of 5 stars for me.

"Lapland Nights" is a very well-written story, but it has too many loose ends. I don't mind loose ends at all, but I came away from this story feeling like I was missing something fundamental that I should have found in the story. Re-scanning it, I found that it wasn't me, it was the story. I love the premise, plot, and characters, but feel like there is an impetus behind the plot turns that is too-well hidden. 4 stars.

"The Garden of Strangers" is a quiet tale about Oscar Wilde and suicide (a theme that recurs in Oliver's work). I can look past the pedantic (in a morally-corrupt way) nature of the story because it is so well written. 4 stars.

I made the mistake of reading "Among the Tombs" by firelight and a small, dim lamp, with the firelight by which I read flickering over my shoulder. Don't do this. Too creepy. Way too creepy. This story about possession and charity gone wrong got under my skin. I've still got the jibblies! 5-stars!

I found "The Skins" eerie enough but it lacked a needed touch of coherence. It sometimes felt like the plot elements were reaching for each other, but not quite touching. Unlike two of the main characters . . . 4 stars.

"The Sermons of Dr Hodnet" - now *this* is what I've been expecting. A twisted interpretation of Genesis 11:7 and a weird story that satisfies on all fronts. 5 stars for this one. More like this, please!

"Magus Zoroaster" puts a supernatural spin on what is, at it's heart, a tale of deep noir about doppelgangers and murder-mystery. 5 stars!

"The Time of Blood" was, well, bloody good. I was surprised by the ending, but it made all the sense in the world, in hindsight. I'm usually not as big on stories that begin with a pseudo-mythic framework, but this one worked well by the end. 5 stars.

A weird tale disguised as romance? Romance disguised as a weird tale? It doesn't matter. I loved it, and I am most explicitly not a fan of romances. "Parma Violets" drew me in and wrapped me up. 5 stars to this excellent story!

"Difficult People" provides a modern and slightly distanced riff on the themes of one of my favorite stories, "The Picture of Dorian Gray", but adds a murky layer of mystery to the whole thing while twists it into new vistas of horror. 5 stars.

"The Constant Rake" is a dark story about an obscure play manuscript and its discovery by the narrator. The original author of the play had suffered losses at the hands of a rival and vowed to exact revenge. But revenge may be a long time in coming! This tale brilliantly weaves destinies and motives together in a satisfyingly gruesome way with a dash of the supernatural. I have been wowed by this 5 star story!

While I enjoyed the self-aware humor of "The Blue Room" (I laughed aloud twice), it seems out of character for this collection. I enjoyed it, but it lacked the gravitas that the rest of the collection has had so far. I get it: people want variety, and humor often serves as an adjunct to horror. Still, it seemed a little "twee" to me. 3 stars

"A Nightmare Sang" is one of the longer stories in this collection. A strange, esoteric tale of ecstasy, initiation, and entrapment. I was caught up in it, much as the protagonist was caught up in the acting troupe/cult that simultaneously served as his compliment and foil. The characterization is what stood out in this mystical, yet banal story. 5 stars!

"The Babe of the Abyss" has so . . . much . . . potential! It could have been twice as long to allow more character development, but as it stands, it felt cut short, with one of the character's info-dump explanations making it feel even more rushed and artificial. Dang it, that could have been a five-star story, but I have to give it 4 stars. I even considered 3, but the ending was a "good save".

"Bloody Bill" is a memorable piece, if for nothing but the imagery. The mood is cohesive and rather gray and the story held together thematically. Still, there was something missing - maybe another connection or two between the narrator, his friend, and the antagonist, expressed more clearly by events, objects, etc. This "looseness" kind of lost me. Still a 4 star story, though.

I thought "A Christmas Card" might be a pithy retelling, or a horrific twist on "A Christmas Carol," but I was completely and utterly wrong. And I've never been so glad to be so wrong in my initial impressions. It is a surprising tale of hope in the face of suicidal depression. Somber, but very much full of hope. A poignant ending story that I was not at all expecting, and which took my breath away, especially as the end piece in this collection. 5 very bright stars.

That's a solid 4.6 on average. Throw in the wonderful production values, even on my paperback edition (what, you didn't know you could buy some of Tartarus Press's titles in affordable paperback?), and you've got a solid five star book here. If you want some creepy, but without the gross, and some excellent writing featuring some memorable characters and even more memorable plot lines, go get yourself a copy!

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Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Monsieur Proust's Library

Monsieur Proust's LibraryMonsieur Proust's Library by Anka Muhlstein
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

My wife is the biography reader in our family. To be honest, I'm not fond of biographies at all.

But this, this Monsieur Proust's Library, while it shares some DNA with biographical sketches, it is not the same thing. This is a sort of convergence of, yes, biography, bibliography, critical essay, and Proust's fiction itself. It is a strange intersection, yet seems like the only one that matters. It's not so cut and dried as "art imitates life" or the claim that one must entirely separate the artist from their art. No, it's much more complicated than that. And it is in this moil of complexity, of half-shadowed influences and inferences, that Muhlstein provides a book whose sum is greater than its parts. It's not perfect, but it might be the perfect introduction to Proust. I'll be sure to let you know, once I know for sure.

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Monday, January 23, 2017

Atlas Obscura: An Explorer's Guide to the World's Hidden Wonders

Atlas Obscura: An Explorer's Guide to the World's Hidden WondersAtlas Obscura: An Explorer's Guide to the World's Hidden Wonders by Joshua Foer
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was once a world-traveler. This had nothing to do with my courage and everything to do with my father being in the US Air Force. I had the privilege of being born in Germany and living in The Philippines, Italy, England, and even Nebraska. And all over the United States.

The funny thing is, though my parents were sure to take me to several tourist destinations while we were abroad, I usually didn't seek out such places myself. This was especially true in Italy, where my friends and I would go explore the extensive tunnel systems under the city of Brindisi, and visit beach-side World War II bunkers where we would look for (and find) old shell casing from a time when our grandfathers might have been storming the beach. This was also true when I lived in England, where our favorite thing to do was to break into an old, supposedly haunted 12th-century priory, complete with trap doors in the floors and passageways hidden within the walls. They are real. I found them and walked through them myself. But I never did get to the Roman Colosseum, nor did I ever visit the Tower of London. Maybe I had an aversion to doing the touristy things because I LIVED there. Yes, the stay was temporary, no more than three years, but these places were "home" for me. So I didn't feel like a tourist. I'd much rather go watch the bums roll each other on Carnaby Street (affectionately known as "Cannabis Street" to us teenagers and, which has become way more commercialized now than when I was a kid hanging out there in the mid-'80s) than step foot in Madame Tussauds (I even had to cheat to see how to spell that). I've had hookers proposition me on Leicester Square, watched hungry bands busk on the tubes, and, yes, watched bums roll each other in alleyways. This was my idea of "touristing".

So when I saw that the fabled website Atlas Obscura had put out a book, I had to give it a read. Thankfully, my local library had a copy sitting front and center on a display as I entered in. I couldn't believe that it hadn't been snatched up yet, so I grabbed it fast. The book, like the website, provides GPS coordinates and a "Know before you go" caveat for each location or event, a helpful hint or two that might just save your life, if not save you a lot of embarrassment.

So, from the Narcisse Snake Orgy to Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum to The World's Quietest Room, take this book with you on your travels and discover the hidden strangeness that the world holds. I guarantee it will be much more fulfilling than merely walking like well-behaved sheep along well-manicured routes led by well-spoken tour guides. The world is awkward, grungy, untidy, weird, and broken. Embrace the strange! Sure, you should see some of the normal destinations, but don't forget the abnormal!

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Sunday, January 15, 2017

A Twist in the Eye

A Twist in the EyeA Twist in the Eye by Charles Wilkinson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I love the candor of Mark Samuels' introduction. He introduces his "impartial bona fides" then proceeds to heap praise on Wilkinson's work convincingly, stating that "A Twist in the Eye is the most exciting collection of weird fiction (or strange fiction, if you will) that I have read for many years."

I am in whole-hearted agreement. This collection ranks up there alongside the best of short-story collections, including that of Mark Samuels himself, The White Hands and Other Weird Tales, Thomas Ligotti's Teatro Grottesco, and Brian Evenson's The Wavering Knife.

Truth be told, I ordered this book on Samuels' endorsement, the cover, and the fact that the incredible Egaeus Press (who had published another favorite of mine, Stephen J. Clark's criminally under-known In Delirium's Circle) had published the book. Yes, it was a gamble. I previewed one of Wilkinson's stories that I found online (not collected in this work), so I hedged the bet a tiny bit. But really, I took a chance with my money, and I won yet again. I'm beginning to think that Egaeus is totally incapable of producing a bad book.

Now, regarding the stories themselves, I leave you my notes, with a short addendum at the end:

"Returning" is a melancholy ghost story that I had felt, at first, "cheated" the reader by allowing the narrator too much knowledge right up front and beating the reader on the head with foreshadowing. I was wrong. Wilkinson does an admirable narrative twist that slips past reader expectations or the careful readers' notion of plot "rules" and then slides up behind him with an emotionally-impactful "soft surprise". 4 stars, and we're off to a good start.

Recently, I watched several short films by one (actually two, though they are identical twins) of my favorite directors, The Brothers Quay. As I read "The Human Cosmos," I am struck by unspeakable aesthetic similarities. The line between banal reality and the superluminal universe beyond our own is smeared. What seems like forgetfulness might be an apotheosis. This story is beyond brilliant. 5 stars!

"Hidden in the Alphabet" has echoes of Poe's "Cask of Amontillado". I have to admit that the third person present tense often threw me out of the story, as did several obviously missing words throughout. Auctorial trick or just error? I'm not 100% certain, but it bugged me a great deal. Still, enjoyed this excellent 4-star story!

"Line of Fire" is a story about discovering one's familial roots and thus knowing oneself. This story drips with atmosphere and grey obfuscation. 5 stars.

"In His Grandmother's Coat," a story about minks, yes, those scrappy little creatures, provides a devious bait and switch on who the real monster is. Brilliant. 5 stars.

"Night in the Pink House" is one of the most disturbing stories I've read where most of the horror is evoked by implication, rather than representation. Reminds me of a story I read years ago in Year's Best Fantasy and Horror, vol. 9, "Redacted," by Joyce Carol Oates, where redactions were used to great effect. Sometimes, it's not what you see that produces the terror, it's what you don't see! Another 5 star story.

"Cold Plate" was the weakest story thus far, but still a 3 star story. While the writing could have pushed it to 4, the utter predictability, the gift of too many foreshadowing winks and nudges by the author, holds it back. I'm not disappointed, per se, but not thrilled by it either. Yeah, a solid 3.

I have a friend who's a "car guy". When I say that, I do not mean the same thing as the main protagonist in "Petrol, saved", though I could use those exact same words. This story did not spin the way I thought it would. The overall mood changed from one kind of creepy to another kind of creepy, but still held enough coherence for this reader. 4 stars.

"The World Without Watercress" is more of a mood than a story. The prose is rich and luxurious. In some ways, it's evocative of "The Shining," but far, far more well-written. 5 stars.

"Gold in Ash," loosely founded on Welsh folklore, is surprisingly tender and sweet, yet does not feel out of place in this dark collection. Five stars to this grim and beautiful story of love and family. Yet another 5 star story.

"An Invitation to Worship" focuses on the (very) old folk fertility cults, at first in a roundabout way. Then it cuts to the chase! 4 stars, dragging the modern domestic into the ancient mystic.

"The Investigation of Innocence" was unexpected. After a series of stories centering around folk horror themes, for the most part, this dystopian future folk noir (yes, that is what it is) was a nice change of pace. Still fantastic writing, though, and a twist in the plot and several twists of character that I'm finding is the hallmark of Wilkinson's work. 5 stars.

"Choice" is a ghost story unlike any you've read before. The twist in this one telegraphed a little, but I can forgive that. The voice of this story is compelling and, frankly, exciting, but not in a shoot 'em up kind of way. Thrillingly subdued, I guess. Yet another 5 star story from Wilkinson.

"A Lesson From the Undergrowth" shows, with great literary panache, that grudges and vengeance have a price to the holder and avenger, as well as the victims. Though it is a bit of a slow start, in the end, it really gets under your skin. 4 stars.

"Watchers in the Wood" is a moody tale about trees and people, outcasts and society. It is not quite as atmospheric as the other work in the volume, yet it is still a good, solid story. 3 stars. I do, however, have to point out one issue, and it's throughout the book: line editing. "Gwyn" turns to "Glyn" in one instance in the story, and other stories are missing small words: "to", "is", etc are missing or repeated.

"Hands" caps odd this excellent collection with a fitting denouement, a quiet tale hovering in the interstitial zone between creepy and comforting. The perfect story to end on.

As noted in a couple of places above, there are some slight difficulties with the book itself, namely, the line-editing. Several stories (more than I noted above) were missing small words ("it" or "to" seemed to be commonly AWOL). At first, I thought this was some sort of game on the part of the author, then I realized that these were just plain mistakes that were not caught in the editorial process. Not a "deal breaker," by any means, but noticed. That said, I'm still giving the book a full five stars. These (admittedly trifling) errors leave the book imperfect, but nearly unblemished. The strength of the fiction, with its many twists and ethereal mood, combined with some of the highest production values from any existing publishing house, ensure that this work, this work of art (on several levels) will hold a prominent spot among my chained books!

Get yours quick! Only 260 copies are available. You don't want to miss this!

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Thursday, January 12, 2017

Books and Possibilities: Opening Salvo

I'm not here to share wisdom. This entry is simply me processing possibilities.

After purchasing a few Egaeus Press Titles (namely: A Twist in the Eye, The Tainted Earth, and In Delirium's Circle), along with examining Ezra Claverie's outstanding The Shadow Out of Providence and the Tartarus Press edition of Gustav Meyrink's The Golem, I got to thinking. Why haven't I ever made a book like this? Okay: Money. Sure. But now there's Kickstarter, which can go horribly wrong, if not managed correctly. But, hey, I manage projects all day every day at my day job and have done so for years. Besides, I've brought out my own little chapbook Dungeon Crawl Classics adventure, Beyond the Silver Scream (physical copies are still available, by the way), and what is a very expensive, very fancy, professionally-produced book but . . . a very expensive, very fancy, professionally-produced, significantly larger chapbook with a whole lot more risk involved, right?

So I've watched and re-watched Joseph Goodman's seminar on Book Making 101 and have identified some potential printers, including a storied bindery that is, apparently, about a ten minute walk (literally) from my house.

I think I can do this.

The problem is, deciding what it is, exactly, I want to do. Because I can't do everything at once. Yes, I have almost made my money back on my investment for Beyond the Silver Scream, but here, we're talking a much bigger investment with a much bigger risk. One step at a time.

I do know that whatever I choose as a first, trial-run project will have the following characteristics: 1) Cloth-bound cover, 2) marbled end-papers, 3) foil-stamped spine, 4) silk placeholder ribbon, 5) internal illustrations (the number dependent on the chosen project).

So, project options:

  1. Short fiction collection. Yes, this one appeals to my vanity the most. I have a short fiction collection published by Raw Dog Screaming press many years ago. And I've done a short self-published e-book of some of my other stuff. But it's time to do this again. And, as most publishers will tell you, their economies of scale vis-a-vis potential sales do not normally justify producing single-author short story collections. The exception here is the "bespoke" collections like those done by Egaeus Press, Tartarus Press, and Zagava. These are very expensive, limited-edition collector pieces. I know some readers who will snatch up almost everything done by these publishers because of the publisher's strong reputation. Problem is, I don't have that strong reputation. Nor do I have a huge audience of readers, despite what I will call the relative success of my novel Heraclix and Pomp. Given time, I might just make my advance. Maybe. In any case, I think I could probably sell, say 100 copies of a very fancy short fiction collection. Maybe 250 if the dominoes fall just right. 500 if I catch lightning in a bottle. The reason these numbers matter is economies of scale. The price-per book on printing and binding a print run of 500 is significantly lower than a run of 250; 250 is better than 100; etc. In any case, I am way overdue for another fiction collection. I don't say that in a prideful way - I have just written a lot of short fiction and it needs to get collected again.
  2. Novel(la). I have a novella under consideration at a publisher I won't reveal. My agent has shopped this thing around to a number of publishers, one of whom told him "it's too well-written". That's an actual quote. I would have to take a look at my contract in order to produce this thing on my own, but it's tempting. I'm guessing I could push the same numbers as a short fiction collection, with a stronger possibility of a 500-book run because things that are in the novel-ish range tend to sell better than short story collections. Or so I am told.
  3. As you might know, I won a World Fantasy Award and was nominated for a Philip K. Dick Award a long time ago for editing the Leviathan 3 anthology with Jeff VanderMeer. After that, I edited Leviathan 4, Text:UR - The New Book of Masks, and The Nine Muses (with Deborah Layne). It has been many years since I've edited an anthology, however. Yes, I know how to do it, but I have not kept super up-to-date on my ties with people in the industry. Some have washed out, some have passed away. I think I could get a few "big" names, but I would have to pay top-dollar to get some of them, and rightfully so - they are great authors who deserve to be paid well for their work! I'm not certain about numbers here, but again, I would think that 250 would be reasonable. Possibly 500, if I had the right names and the right theme at the right time. Lots of variables there. But given the seeming dearth of really good short fiction anthologies at the moment, maybe it's time to make a go of it again?
  4. Role-playing Supplements. I am working right now on a project for a publisher, a super-secret project I can't let out of the bag yet, which will get my name in front of a fairly large contingent (a couple thousand) of role-playing gamers who like to spend money on very nice RPG projects based on certain game systems. Yeah, I should probably be working on that right now, but . . . In any case, I'm finding that many of the nerds I grew up playing D&D with are now programmers with lots of spare cash. Have you looked at the returns on RPG Kickstarter projects? Holy cow. Gamers will spend when they want something! I know - I'm one of them (not a programmer, just a gamer who will drop some cash on the "right" kickstarter). I have several ideas for RPG books, but I'm loathe to talk about them because a) they are my ideas and I don't want to give them away just yet, b) to talk about them too much would spoil them, and that kind of destroys the whole idea of a game, and c) some of these ideas still need to be playtested, which takes a long time. Still, I think this option might have the most likelihood of getting a return on investment if it isn't too fancy for the system with which it is associated. There's this funny aesthetic in gaming where we still value books with crappy blue maps that fall apart in your hands. Then again, take a look at what Lamentations of the Flame Princess is doing with their books, or Goodman Games, and you'll see some select pieces that belie the "scratched on a pad of graph paper" model.
Now I have the sneaking suspicion that those who read my blog tend to skew to the RPG side. But I really, REALLY want to know what people think. I'm just in the thinking stages at this point (though I am about to send off an email to that local bookbinder to get a quote for an imaginary book run, so I can start thinking about costs vs price, profit margins and such). I need to talk Kickstarter with more people who have experience with it (though I've gotten a bit from people here and there). And, most of all, I have to decide just what the heck I want to do.

Your opinions might just help me decide. Feel free to comment below or E-mail me at forrestjaguirre at gmail dot com with your thoughts, suggestions, or wish-lists. As with any project, I can't do this on my own. And while I think I know who I want to tap for design work and internal art, the rest, including the decision on which project to start with, can be influenced by your opinions. 

Saturday, December 31, 2016

The Lies of Locke Lamora

The Lies of Locke Lamora (Gentleman Bastard, #1)The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is the novel every sixteen-year-old wants to read. And by "sixteen" I mean anyone who is chronologically sixteen or sixteen at heart. That probably means you (so long as you're not allergic to a lot of swearing and violence - if you can't handle this, find something else). No, it's not a coming of age novel. Not really. I'd pity the sap who had a childhood like Locke Lamora's - an orphan whose "family" was a band of child thieves before being sold to another "family" of thieves. But it is as bawdy, violent, and intelligent as one could ever ask in a fantasy novel. It is also incredibly well-written - elegant, though not baroque or overwrought, limned with brilliant turns of phrase that wrap the reader in the story, rather than pushing them out.

I won't even attempt to go over plot details in this one. First of all, I'm not very good at relating plots; and, second, the many comparisons I've heard to Ocean's Eleven and The Godfather are more than adequate to underscore the complexity of the plot. Suffice it to say that we see the titular thief's beginning, much of his upbringing and those of the other "Gentleman Bastards," we see their exploits as a cocksure gang, including an intricate heist involving the duping of a pair of nobles (brilliantly planned and executed) then, with the entrance of a mysterious figure known as the Gray King, things start to go wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong.

The wonder of this is that the book is written, throughout, with a chronological back-and-forth dance between past and present. Lynch choreographs this dance more deftly than I have ever seen before. The book progresses chronologically, at first, to the point where Locke is sold to his new garrista, or gang boss, Father Chains. From there, we jump to the present, and from there on out, we weave our way back and forth, following Locke and the Gentleman Bastards' heist and the complications presented by the Gray King in a linear fashion, while dipping back into interludes from the past that provide just enough information about the characters' pasts to give the needed background to understand aspects of the present, but not so much information that it feels hokey. Other, less skilled authors, would make these past sections feel like an awkward interpolation, but Lynch's flashbacks never feel like an infodump.

The setting, the city of Camorr, is mysterious and well-realized. I'm not certain if subsequent volumes of the adventures of Locke and Jean (one of the other Gentleman Bastards) also take place in Camorr, but Lynch has definitely not tapped the potential of the city with this one novel. Imagine a city not unlike Venice, but rife with sharks in the water and human sharks in every alleyway. The city itself is built atop the architecture of some past civilization that we know almost nothing about. This alien architecture is made of some unknown material called "Elderglass" that is sometimes translucent, sometimes opaque, and glows with "falselight" in the evening, lending an eerie quality that is used throughout as a sort of time marker indicating nightfall.

While the other Gentleman Bastards, Jean, the twins Calo Sanza and Galdo Sanza, and the young Bug, are all critical to the story, the focus is, as one would expect, on Locke Lamora. Locke is not the most physically deft person (that would be the Sanza twins), nor is he very strong or a good fighter (that would be Jean). But he is absolutely cunning and a fantastic liar. He is brilliant, and he knows it. But he is also very cautious, which saves his hide several times over. He is more cocksure than brave, but never stupid, even as he derides himself for being so. He is the ultimate Scheisster. As with any very intelligent person, he has a cutting wit, which is actually a common trait among all the Gentleman Bastards. The humor is thick and ribald in the first two-thirds of this book, then becomes grim by the end. Expect to laugh a lot at first, then expect to wonder if you should be laughing or not. For the reader with a dark sense of humor (read: me), this is a hilarious read when it needs to be and becomes more serious when it ought to (though it never loses its snarkyness).

I must admit that there are times when I read a book and am just plugging through it to get through it. I started that way with this book. Yes, I had heard it was good, but it took me a moment to "buy-in". But that was a quick moment. Maybe three or four pages, and I was hooked. The story flows quickly, yet uses intelligent, complex syntax with clever twists of irony. Lynch shows a master author's touch in The Lies of Locke Lamora. I haven't been "taken away" by a fantasy like this in some time. This book will demand all your attention, and it should. It is THAT good!

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