With a Voice That Is Often Still Confused But Is Becoming Ever Louder and Clearer

With a Voice That Is Often Still Confused But Is Becoming Ever Louder and Clearer by J.R. Hamantaschen
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I received this book as a Goodreads Giveaway, for the record. I went into this book fairly blind, not having read the author's work before - and I pride myself on being in touch with what's happening in small press horror/dark fiction. Somehow, Hamantaschen had slipped under my radar. So I registered for and won With a Voice That Is Often Still Confused But Is Becoming Ever Louder and Clearer, one of the more inventive and evocative titles for a book that I've seen. Hamantaschen's titles are, to some degree, works of art in and of themselves.

Not knowing what I was getting into, I found myself in a cloud of depression and gore. Now, I'm not too keen on depression and gore, though I've read and written my share of horror. I'm more bent on the weird and the eerie than I am on the outright horrific, so I had a little bit of apprehension about the stories contained herein. Depression reigns supreme here, outright nihilism. And there is more than a fair amount of gore here, which is just not my thing.

That said, I did find a lot to like here. It's kind of like visiting a museum that I'm not entirely enamored of, but finding the occasional painting or sculpture that trips my trigger. There are enough interesting details that I was never so put off by the stories that I wanted to give up reading the collection. There were a fair amount of grammar errors, but I edit professionally, so those are going to stick out to me. I'm not such a snob, though, that they got in the way of appreciating some of the fine thought and good workmanship that went into the book. Just annoyances, really. "A trifle," as Ligotti would say.

I liked, but didn't love "Vernichtungsschmerz". The central conceit - the chance to be rescued from an eternity of suffering - was well-conceived and laid out. In practice, though, this story of four childhood friends could have been written without the third friend and been better for it. The concept was stretched a bit too thin for me. A solid three star story.

"A Related Corollary" is a sharp, deep dive into the depressive mind. A good explication on what it feels like to be shrouded in depression and, specifically, how the logic of cynicism oppresses while simultaneously giving a sense of empowerment. More a philosophical exploration than a true "story", but I enjoy philosophical deep-dives. Four stars.

I quite liked "The Gulf of Responsibility". It had some issues - overly detailed descriptions and one sidelong character relationship that had absolutely no bearing on the story at all - but I really liked it. Conspiratorial, surreal, horrific, with an unexpected, but inevitable ending. The social issues here are handled with a bit of paranoia that is justified by the context of the story. Four stars.

"Big with the Past, Pregnant with the Future" is outstanding! This is the kind of subtle, understated story I love, one that doesn't explain too much; One that lets the unstated carry the story - the darkness in the background that is the abode of dread. Five stars, and I wish there were more like this in the collection. A testament to what good editing can do to keep a story from being overwrought.

"Soon Enough this will Essentially be a True Story" was good, not great. Frankly, I'm not a huge fan of gore horror. And, truth be told, I'm almost certain I know who the character "Karen" is modeled after (she is one of my Goodreads friends, but I have a few, and, no, I'm not telling you who I think it is - if you dig through the other reviews of this book, you'll know), so it seemed a little . . . indulgent? Three stars and now I fear for my life for giving it that rating. You'll know why after you read the story.

"I'm a Good Person, I Mean Well and I Deserve Better" is A) funny, B) trite and silly, C) poignant, or D) all of the above. The correct answer is D) all of the above. This story runs the gamut of emotions, a run that will leave most people uncomfortable. For this evocative, yet intentionally insipid story, four awkward stars.

"Cthulhu, Zombies, Ninjas and Robots!; or, a Special Snowflake in an Endless Scorching Universe," takes cynicism and elitism to a new level. If you've ever been to a convention where geeks hang out, or if you happen to be one of those geeks, you'll find some awfully familiar things here. But you'll also find one awful thing that you (hopefully) have never found at such a convention. A nice twist on what it means to be "Lovecraftian". Four stars.

"Oh Abel, Oh Absalom" is a satisfying story with a nod back to "The Gulf of Responsibility," a nice trick that Jon Padgett used to great effect in The Secret of Ventriloquism. Massive conspiracy, a bad guy stuck in a bad place, with more cosmic horror than the other stories, but not quite as pedantic as some seemed. Four stars.

So, if you, like me, sometimes look at what seems to be a rather ordinary painting, but can appreciate the deft use of chiaroscuro or the way a swatch of color flashes out just so at a certain angle, and if you tend toward the strange more than the awful, there is definitely something here for you. Maybe four stars worth, as there was for me. Keep peeking into those hidden corners to find that beautiful something . . . but don't stick your finger in there.

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