Preamble: I've done this thrice before, once for the Mold Mother Patron AI for Mutant Crawl Classics, RPG, once for Supreme Brainskull Commander Patron for Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG, and once for The Dimensional Dogs Patron for Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG (which you can also find in my DCC adventure, Beyond the Silver Scream, which you should, of course, go buy now if you haven't already done so - and for those who have, a hearty "Thank you!"). But doing up a Patron for DCC/MCC, I've learned, is really, really hard work. So, this time, I've left out Patron Spells. They are, as you can imagine, a huge pain. I might do some in the future . . . maybe. In the meantime, though, I'd suggest gorging your ears on a bunch of Nick Cave (and the Bad Seeds or The Birthday Party, or whatever flavor of Cave suits your fancy) for inspiration and come up with some spells of your own. That way, we can spread the wealth, as it were. Also, if I were a player, I . . . probably wouldn't take Red Right Hand as my patron unless I was in a really morbid mood/had a deathwish/just wanted to see what it would be like. It might be neat, though, to use a Wizard who has had this patron as an NPC, so long as he/she has had enough patron taint to be really . . . well, unique. You'll see what I mean below. TRIGGER WARNING: I do reference depression and other mental illnesses here, so please steer clear if these are too sensitive of a topic for you. No worries, I've seen and experienced my share of mental illness. There's help and there's hope! With those caveats, I present to you your new lord and master, Red Right Hand.
Red Right Hand
If you were raised in the ghettos or the barrio or the bowery or the slums, you've seen him. You might have only caught furtive glances from alleys or felt that the flickering streetlight on that trash-strewn intersection had a presence, a force that hinted at quiddity, a movement behind the squalor and gravel-encrusted loneliness of abandoned streets and cracked, weed-infiltrated walkways.
If you concentrate long enough, or if you don't get out of the gutter quickly enough from your vomit-riven, headache-split reverie, full of regret and bile from the night before, you might just see him as he is. Or, at least, as he wishes to present himself to you. If so, this is your witness:
A tall man wearing a black trench coat and fedora approaches. As he grows nearer, you notice that he holds his right hand inside the chest-fold of his coat. Crooked under his left arm is a sheaf of green papers inked with cryptic sigils that seem to move about the page and metamorphose of their own volition. The man's face is incredibly handsome and you are drawn in by his warm smile and friendly demeanor, which cuts through the dread of ineluctable doom you felt when you first saw him. he withdraws his hand from the trench coat and offers it to you in a friendly token of good will. The hand is as red as blood.
Invoke Patron Check Results
12-13 "He'll wrap you in his arms, tell you that you've been a good boy." For the next turn, you gain a +1 bonus to any Personality checks or Will saves.
14-17 "He'll rekindle all the dreams it took you a lifetime to destroy." For the next 1d4 turns, all Will saves are made two steps up the die chain. If you would normally roll a D20, for instance, you make your Will save on a D30 for 1d4 turns.
18-19 "He'll reach deep into the hole, heal your shrinking soul." You are cured of all damage and have a temporary "bonus" of +20% of your normal maximum hit points for 1d8 rounds, after which you return to the level of your hit points as they were before this effect took place or -20% below maximum hit points, whichever is less.
20-23 "You don't have no money? He'll get you some" A bag of 500 gold pieces appears at your feet. Of course, you are expected to pay it back, with interest. The 500 gold pieces, along with an additional 500 gold pieces, comes "due" in one month. The 1,000 gold pieces must be paid as a donation to a local thieves' guild (which could prove problematic in and of itself - this has to be a formal gift, not just a dumping off of funds. You need to talk with the guild representatives.). If the 1,000 gold pieces are not paid to a local thieves' guild, a representative of the Red Right Hand will come to collect. this representative will always be a demon of some type (see the DCC RPG rulebook for how to "construct" a demon). If, somehow, the debtor is successful in defeating the demon, two more will arrive in one month's time, and the debt will increase to 2,000 gold pieces; then to three demons and 4,000 gold pieces, etc. until the debt is either paid in full or the debtor is dragged down to hell to suffer for a number of years equal to the number of gold pieces owed at the time of their capture.
24-27 "You don't have no car? He'll get you one." You get a car. Roll a d8 to determine the make and model. You choose the color: 1) Corvette Stingray (you pick the year, any year), 2) Mercedes AMG GT 63 S, 3) Aston Martin Vanquish Zagato (yes, of course with the wood interior), 4) Bentley Continental GT Speed (Judge Forrest's choice!), 5) Lamborghini Aventador, 6) Ferrari 812 Superfast, 7) El Camino (with a blower and 8-track player and your choice of five 8-tracks), 8) Bugatti Veyron. The tank is full! Take it for a spin! But for every turn you drive the car, you must make a DC 18 Will Save or have a deep depression fall over you that will force you to drive into a tree, pylon, or friend at top speed. This affects anyone who drives the car. Maybe you'll just want to let it sit? Besides, can you really afford the insurance for that hot rod?
28-29 "You don't have no self-respect, you feel like an insect, well don't you worry buddy, 'cause here he comes". A 30' tall spectre, in the form of Red Right Hand, strolls forward in the sight of everyone within the Wizard's line of sight, distance notwithstanding. This has several effects on anyone within that line of sight, friend or foe of the spellcaster: 1) all except the spellcaster are affected as if by a "Turn Unholy," the check being made at D30+2. Those that remain are subject to further effects, as follows: 2) All must make a morale check every round or flee, immediately, at top speed in a randomly-determined direction for 1d6 full turns, 3) All are at -4 to Initiative, 4) All luck bonuses are nullified - Luck penalties remain, 5) All Personality bonuses are nullified - Personality penalties remain. The spectre remains for 1d20 turns, after which it dissipates with an odor of asphalt mixed with rubbing alcohol. The spellcaster permanently loses 1 point of Personality each time this effect is used.
30-31 "You'll see him in your nightmares, you'll see him in your dreams." The sky grows black and lightning flashes, but only for an instant: long enough for all within 500' to have the residual image of the Red Right Hand imprinted on their retinae for 1 full turn. When those who have been exposed to this affect attempt to rest or sleep, they must make a DC 16 Will save to get a restful night's sleep, else they are tormented by dreams and nightmares of encountering the Red Right Hand amongst dilapidated buildings, overgrown railyards (whatever those are), and among pollution-belching smokestacks. Characters that do not get a restful night's sleep do not heal either hit point loss or ability loss. They also suffer temporary loss in ability scores as follows: 1 Day) No appreciable effect, 2 Days) All Agility bonuses are lost and the character suffers -1 to Agility, Personality, and Intelligence until a night of rest is obtained, 3 Days) All Agility, Strength, Personality, and Intelligence bonuses are lost and all of these scores are reduced by a further -3 points, 4 days) All ability scores are reduced an additional -8 points Any character whose ability score drops to zero, even temporarily, dies. The effects of these dreams and nightmares last 1d5 days or until the first restful night of sleep is obtained, after which there are no further effects. Note that each individual is affected separate from all other individuals - each person seeing the lightning-burned image of the Red Right Hand rolls 1D5 separately to determine how many days the image (and the dreams) lingers.
32+ "He'll appear out of nowhere, but he ain't what he seems." All within line of sight of the spellcaster (regardless of distance) who fail a DC 20 Will save perceive every person around them as the Red Right Hand for the next 1d6 days. This is extremely unsettling and will quickly lead to fear and outright paranoia for the duration of this effect. Roleplay accordingly!
Patron Taint: Red Right Hand
When Patron Taint is indicated, roll 1d6 on the table below. When a spellcaster has acquired all six taints at all levels of effect, there is no need to continue rolling any more.
Roll Result
1 A raven comes to visit the spellcaster whenever they go to sleep. The visitant is completely deaf to its incessant cawing, but his or her companions are not. The second time this is rolled, a trio of ravens circles overhead during all waking hours. They do not bother the spellcaster, and they are silent, but they are always there. Always . . . The third time this is rolled, a raven sprouts from the spellcaster's shoulder flesh. This is actually a growth from the spellcaster's body. It caws and calls out to the ravens overhead and to the night-visitor raven. They are, after all, social animals. If removed, the spellcaster dies.
2 Whenever the spellcaster introduces him- or herself, a quill held in a floating Red Right Hand appears in the air, seemingly out of nowhere, writes the spellcaster's name as a glowing signature in the air, then disappears. The signature fades from sight in 1 round. The second time this is rolled, the same effect happens whenever the spellcaster attempts to cast a spell. This glowing signature remains above the spellcaster's head for one full turn before fading. The third time this is rolled, the spellcaster's signature is emblazoned on his forehead by the Red Right Hand. Nothing will remove it or stop it from glowing. This might cause problems when trying to go un-noticed, unless the forehead is covered with a hood or hat.
3 The spellcaster smells of hot pitch and basement mold. It's off-putting enough that others might mention it. The second time this is rolled, the smell is intensified and one can actually see the stench radiating off the spellcaster's body in the form of wavy black lines emanating from the spellcaster. These lines radiate outward out to a full 3' length and are clearly visible in even reasonably well-lit conditions (such as in a dark tavern). The third time this is rolled, the earlier effects accrue and, on top of that, every time the spellcaster opens his or her mouth to speak, noxious fumes issue forth in the form of billowing, polluted green smoke. The overall stench, whether the spellcaster speaks or not, has become so intense that it results in a permanent loss of two points of Personality.
4 A black fedora appears on the spellcaster's head. the fedora worsens the wearer's armor class by 1 point when worn. For every turn spent without wearing the fedora, the spellcaster loses 1 hit point. .Hit points return at the normal rate of healing if the fedora is donned again. Destroying the fedora causes a permanent loss of 1d4 hit points to the spellcaster. The fedora can sustain one point of damage before being destroyed. Protect it! The second time this is rolled, a black trench coat appears on the spellcaster. Its effects are the same as those of the fedora, except in one case. Thus the spellcaster wearing both the fedora and the trench coat suffer a cumulative -2 to armor class and they lose 1 hp/turn for each item not worn. The one difference is that destroying the trench coat (which can take 1 point of damage before being destroyed) causes the wearer the permanent loss of 1d5 hit points . The third time this is rolled, a sheaf of green papers appears in the spellcaster's left hand. These are treated the same way as the fedora and trench coat, with the same worsening of armor class and loss of hit points, except that, should the papers be destroyed (1 hp), the spellcaster will suffer a permanent loss of half their hit points.
5 The spellcaster feels a slap across his or her left cheek, and an audible slapping sound is heard. Permanently imprinted on that left cheek is the red mark of a hand. The second time this happens, the sound and sensation happen to the right cheek, this time leaving a permanent red outline as if someone had back-handed them. The third time, a dead, lolling red right hand grows from the spellcaster's hairline, like some morbid cocks-comb. If the spellcaster has already had his name scrawled across his forehead (see result #2, above), the hand has the letters of his name tattooed on the fingers. Cutting the hand off kills the caster. It gets in the way of . . . stuff.
6 The Red Right Hand is always scheming, and you must scheme, too! The spellcaster continually wrings their hands, hunches, and leers at people with sidelong glances, making them feel uncomfortable and mistrustful toward the spellcaster, at a minimum. The second time this is rolled, the spellcaster must constantly interrupt any planning that he hears going on around him and share his "expert opinion," even when the plan has absolutely nothing to do with him at all. Whether friend or foe or just plain stranger, the spellcaster just cannot help themselves from conspiring and interjecting how "the plan" can be made "better because of my genius!" even when there is no plan. This results in a permanent loss of one point of personality and usually results in the spellcaster being banned from kitchens and forbidden from watching recipe demonstrations. The third time this is rolled, the spellcaster must: 1) always be right, 2) always be scheming, 3) always make any action un-necessarily complicated, even when, or especially when there is a simple solution, 4) always interfere with another's successful completion of anything the spellcaster deems is "a plan". Only he can properly finish a plan! Everyone else is too stupid to see how the plan should be carried out and concluded! So he will intentionally subvert any plan that doesn't allow his efforts to be the crowning feat of a (un-necessarily complicated) scheme! The spellcaster's Personality score is cut in half, permanently, which usually precedes the spellcaster being cut in half, permanently.
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