Stones Beneath a White Star

 

Stones Beneath a White Star by Martin Locker
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I was speaking with someone recently about teaching young children complex concepts. This friend is a teacher of very young children (three- to five-year olds) and is tasked with teaching them some advanced concepts. She was concerned that these kids were never going to remember these principles, though they might integrate them subconsciously, the same way that back in our secondary-school grade introduction to trigonometry and pre-calculus, we all said "we're never going to use this stuff". That turned out to be true for most of us, though our brains were permanently rewired, ever so slightly, to form thoughts in a new and different way than we had done before. All of this aside, we agreed that while these young kids probably won't remember a thing about what was said to them, they absolutely will remember the way they felt when they were being taught. I can attest to this. I remember my third-grade teacher, Mrs. Wells, not because of the things I learned, but because of her kindness and patience and her great sense of humor. I remember her reading us the Winnie the Pooh stories and her spot-on voices (with the Disney movies as her template). And I remember her encouraging my reading, even recommending me to what they called the "talented and gifted" readers program for reading and writing. I didn't even fully comprehend what that meant, but I remember the way she made me feel: special, recognized, an individual. I'll never forget her. I can't even name my second or fourth grade teachers, but Mrs. Wells; she was an icon.

I share this because of the way Martin's book Stones Beneath a White Star made me feel. If someone asked me what the book was "about," I would stumble and mumble my way through an answer. Something about friends and loss and mysticism and mountains and reconnecting with the past . . . mumble mumble mumble . . .

It's tough to pin it down. But I know how the book made me feel.

Excuse me while I get a little personal. I'm hardly on social media these days (intentionally), so I don't spill my guts like some people do regularly. So, humor me. I'll try not to be boring. And maybe this indulgence will say a bit about the book. One caveat: I am a pen pal with the author. We write each other, pen and paper, yes, the old-fashioned way, irregularly. As a result I've gotten to know Martin a little. I apologize if you think this shades the review in any way, but hey, it can't be helped now, can it?

What I didn't say about my experience with Mrs. Wells above is that I was living in Italy at the time. My dad was military - I was what is colloquially called a "Military Brat" (hey, if the shoe fits . . .) - so I lived in a lot of different places through my life. I sometimes wonder if Air's song "Universal Traveller" wasn't written for me (did I mention the word "brat"?). I've been around . . .

One problem with having been around is that some of the places I lived, I can never visit again. The Air Force base I was born at in Germany is now a US Army base, the base where we lived in Italy, San Vito, is abandoned and off-limits, the base in England where I spent most of high school is now a British spy base (though I can, and did go on a tour of some of the base a few years back, "my" house is strictly off-limits), and the house I lived in when we were in The Philippines was buried under volcanic ash and the base abandoned by the US military. In essence, a lot of my childhood stomping grounds are either inaccessible to me or just plain don't exist anymore, though I have written a bit about my dream-life in one of those places.

This makes me a little melancholy. While many people can just drive (or even walk) to their childhood home, I just can't. I can get bits and pieces and visit places near some of those places, but time and circumstance have effectively banished me from my own childhood. It's a little more than mere nostalgia. I am haunted by the ghosts of the places of my past.

And here we have a segue into why I feel the way I feel about this book. Stones Beneath a White Star is the most profound work of Psychogeography I have ever read. It is about the spirit of a place, in this case, the Pyrenees Mountains (where, incidentally, my ancestors on my father's side hail from, generally - though they lived in the Basque regions, while this work takes place largely in and around Andorra). The religio-mystical history of the region is dealt with in encyclopedic depth. The book as historical treatise on the area is exhaustive, thick with referents and nuances that I admittedly know little or nothing about. But this didn't affect my reading, outside of wanting to know more about the people, events, and places portrayed.

The real rub of the book is the intimate connection of a few close friends and fellow-believers to the land itself. Their connections to each other (and some of those who have passed on before them) provide the engine for the story (such as it is). These relationships, between people, the land, and the history of the land, is absolutely immersive. I cannot say what the book is "about," nor do I care. This is the kind of book you just live in, for the moment, a meditation on friendship, loss, and retrieval, of the fluctuating bonds of love despite the catastrophes and disappointments of living life on this planet. It is a novel about the resilience of friends finding peace in a broken world.

You can probably see where this is heading . . . I live in a world of broken memories, unretrievable. I'd like to think this isn't just a function of mawkish nostalgia. I literally can't go back. But the memories still haunt me. Needless to say, this book affected me . . . deeply.

Thank goodness that while much of my past is bricked off (or behind barbed wire), one thing persists, despite location, and that is meaningful friendships. I've made and lost many friends throughout the years (as I get older, I lose more and more), but as I retain some ties over the decades and form new friendships with people I've not known before, whether intentionally or through pure happenstance, there is connection. And this connection is something to be nurtured, something sacred.

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Gravensteen's Weapons

 I love to travel. The Wanderlust is a core part of who I am. I was born "overseas," as a child, I moved every three years or so, and when "overseas" my family travelled for vacation as often as possible. 

One natural consequence of travel is to come home with photos to remind us of the good times we had and the interesting places we saw. Technology makes it easy to take as many pictures as we want. However, I've found that looking through a screen at the things that are immediately around me forces a one-step remove from the actual experience. I intentionally try to limit my screen time while on vacation; after all, why would I travel halfway across the planet just to be online? But, despite my best efforts to analogize, I'm often sucked into the camera eye and miss the saturation of experience that can occur while I am immersed in a new place. So, I've made efforts to limit how many pictures I take while travelling. Of course, I'll take some photos, but whereas I might have taken a hundred photos a day in the past, I've tried to limit myself to something more like half of that. Even then, I have a lot of photos to "dump".

This last April, I was able to travel to Germany for work. After this, my wife and I took a week-long stay in Belgium. We were "stationed" in Antwerp - our Air BnB was literally 100 feet from the train station - and travelled out to Ghent, Bruges, and up to The Hague, Netherlands. I took a lot of pictures that week, as Belgium has some of the most beautiful architecture I've ever seen. When I look at the photos on my phone, I'm overwhelmed. So, I am trying to parse out these photographs into batches that are a little more digestible in order to blog a bit more clearly about my trips.

We'll start with Castle Gravensteen, AKA Castle of the Counts in Ghent. I'll include pictures of the castle itself in another post (or posts). 

Being a dutiful D&D nerd, of course I toured the castle! And, of course, I took photos of some of the weapons displayed there. This shows maybe half of the weapons there (again, I tried to limit pictures so I could actually enjoy the experience in the moment). For you other D&D nerds, hopefully this will provide some inspiration for your own games. Or, perhaps you might just enjoy the beauty of these killing tools. 

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The Wander Society

 

The Wander Society by Keri Smith
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Pretentious? Yes. But I like pretentiousness. But I actually LIKE pretentiousness in writing. Sure, it's a little "twee" at times, but so what? Keri Smith is living her best life. Get over yourself.

What he have here is non-fiction disguised as fiction. It's a handbook, really, an eclectic mix of false story that entices one into the Wander Society. There is a touch of armchair philosophy and a lot of practical types on how to be impractical, which is a wonderful undertaking. Whimsy is the heartbeat of everything you'll find in this work. If you take yourself really seriously, you are going to be seriously disappointed.

My favorite sections were "The Wander Society's Tactical Guide" and, most importantly, "Assignments/Research/Field Work". These are were the rubber (of your soles) hits the road (or the dirt or mud or gravel). This is what I was looking for when I first heard about this strange little book. Before reading the book, I had already implemented my own brand of "Leave Behind," as Smith names it, a calling card, if you will, and a tribute to life, death, and the struggle between the two. It's been exactly a year since I started the practice of beautifying death on the trail, and, in fact, I laid a garland on a critter this afternoon. Poor little guy! If I don't memorialize his little life, who will?

This book has also helped me as I do my best to go analog and ditch the smart phone. Walking, especially wandering (there is a difference) is a great way to immerse oneself in analog, as long as one is willing to turn their phone off or leave it at home while on the trail. It's a beautiful, horrifying, lovely world. Look up from your screen for a while and take it all in. The Wander Society can be used as a tool to help you learn how.

Remember "Solvitur Ambulando" and "non omnes qui errant perditi sunt"!

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Minori Leather bag and Mudita Kompakt phone

 I'm not usually one for product reviews, but every once in a while I find something that's just such high quality that I have to let people know (no, I'm not being paid or sponsored to say this or anything else in this review, for the record, but if you find this mildly entertaining or even useful and you'd like to contribute, see my kofi link below). I just bought two such items (well, I bought one of them months ago, but it's one of those "time will tell" things that I had to let play out): 1) the Boulder Leather Crossbody bag by Minori Leather, and 2) the Mudita Kompakt phone, both of which are pictured here:

Let's start with the bag, as that will be quickest. I absolutely LOVE this bag. It's perfect for travel, and I'll be using it on my Alaska cruise next week! Great size: fits my Boox Go 10.3, a composition book, and my Leuchtturm 411 writing book, as well as my passport and Mudita Kompakt phone (shown in the photo for reference size). This arrived QUICK (buying locally helps, folks). I love the weathered look and this looks to be bomb-proof. Solid construction, tight stitching, zippers are smooth. I'll probably have to leave it in my will for my kids. Strongly recommended. "It's just a bag," you say? Yeah, kiddo, wait until the apocalypse and we'll see who's begging for something to comfortably carry.

As for the Mudita Kompakt: I made the decision a long time ago to try to simplify my life and move toward a more analog existence. If you've read my blog, you've seen windows into that journey. And for my next trick, I'm (gasp!) ditching my smart phone. Well, at least I am after my Alaska trip because I need it for the boarding pass and such. But my everyday carry does NOT include my smartphone anymore. I could go on for days about the many ways that we are being manipulated by the builders of smartphones and those who create apps for them, and how we need to simplify our lives more and spend less time on social media and online in general, and being offline more lets us focus on things we love more (like, for me, writing and playing RPGs), but I really don't need to. Many, many people have done this before, mostly on youtube (ironically, if you watch youtube on your phone): here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. I'm sorry, you're welcome, and welcome to my rabbit hole.

So, the Mudita Kompakt does not run any google-fied apps. It can't. And I'm happy about that. It is a simple phone, with an e-ink screen (which minimizes that blue light that burns into your retinas at night from watching cat videos on your smart phone for too long - you know who you are) that is easy on the eyes and aesthetically pleasing. There are apps, but you can't access the App Store, which is fine by me. There's an alarm, calculator, calendar, camera (awkward to use and black and white through the viewfinder, though the pictures are taken in color), chess, E-reader, Maps, Meditation (really a glorified timer, if I'm being honest), Music (which needs some work. A lot of work, in fact), Notes (which also needs work - too few characters, to be sure), a recorder, and a weather app (fairly accurate). It's got some "warts" - music is just playable alphabetically or on shuffle, not by artist or album, but I'm confident they'll fix that in an update; maps has some latency issues because it's e-ink, but then the whole intent of the phone is to slow you down and make you think more intentionally, so it does that; the notes app definitely needs to allow more characters, and the screen is ultra sensitive, so I often find myself putting the phone into "Offline+" mode, which shuts off the phone, camera, microphones, and all wireless communications at the flick of a switch (psst: this is the phone privacy advocates have been looking for all along) and locking it. I had a lot of problems with pocket-dialing until I figured out I need to flip into Offline+ mode and lock my screen if I didn't want to inadvertently call someone. Like I said, it's ULTRA-sensitive and needs work, which I'm told they are doing.

Which brings me to another point: Mudita actually listens to their users. The proof is in the pudding. I've spent a fair amount of time on the Mudita forums and seen the complaints of users (myself included), and they have responded not just with patience and tact, but with updates that make sense. Yes, there is more work to do - I bought the phone on its kickstarter, so I knew there would be bugs - but I'm confident in Mudita's ability and willingness to address any shortcomings. However . . . if you think you're going to get a black and white smartphone, think again. That's not what this is about. This is about mental freedom from the grip of a smartphone. It's intended to keep you OFF the phone, to DISconnect and, thus, reconnect with yourself, your thoughts, your time, your surroundings, your hobbies, and your loved ones. Pretty revolutionary stuff.

My experience has been . . . good. At times, very difficult. I don't think I understood how strongly I was addicted to my smart phone (and still am until this trip is done) until I took the plunge. I have an addictive personality, so smartphones are built like a hook for suckers like me. So, if you can put down the smartphone and social media "anytime I want to" - this phone isn't really for you. But if you are looking to get more calm into your life, to avoid the jittery anxiety of the online world, and reclaim yourself and your time, give it a try. If you have any questions about the phone or my journey, I'd be glad to answer them.

And speaking of journeys, I'm about to take one! You'll probably see photos (taken by my Kompakt) in the not-too-distant future. Alrigh, packing my new bag for Alaska!

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Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

 

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I have to admit that I approached this book with trepidation. While I have been making a concerted and whole-hearted effort to embrace minimalism and slow living (but not spartanism, which is the extremist version of minimalism), I have been very careful to avoid what I'll call the bruh-culture of efficiency aka "hustle culture". Screw hustle culture. Screw productivity at all costs. I'm just not about that.

That's not to say I don't laud and enjoy hard work, I do, so long as it brings intentional results and so long as I can "turn it off" when I need to, which is often. Hustle culture isn't sustainable in the long term, and I've been on this planet long enough to realize that, for me, at least, slower really is better. Working myself to an early death is just not on my agenda, and I've been very close to a couple of situations where I've seen overwork and hustle culture result in some long lasting and sometimes severe damage to mental health, as well as physical health (usually joined at the hip). I'm not going there. You really can't pay me enough to go there. I value well-being over money.

So, it was with some concern that I opened the cover and skimmed the book, to see a fair amount of "corporate speak" between the covers. I almost lemmed this one, but thought I'd give it a chance.

The corporate speak between the covers, I learned, was a bit of a necessary evil. I'm reminded of Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism and its use of what I'll call techno-speak. I'm not the most tech-savvy person (I can fuss with a database and worked for a major software firm for a few years, so I'm not a complete stranger to it), so I am a little intimidated and defensive when it comes to techno-speak. And while I've been in the corporate world for decades, I bristle at corporate speak. I use it, admittedly, as a tool. But the way some people revel in it, frankly, makes me a bit ill. Thankfully, the corporate speak here was really used to contextualize warnings about the dangers of slipping into being a "yes man" in the corporate world. McKeown makes no bones about standing one's ground, and pissing off many people in the process, in an effort to ultimately define personal boundaries and focus on what one deems is essential.

Does this work in the real world? Yes and no. I was surprised and felt rather justified to read about being intentionally slow to answer some requests. I'm in procurement, and while there are indeed times for fast action (e.g. customer emergencies), most people's emergencies are not really emergencies. And in corporate settings where everything is an emergency, disfunction reigns supreme. Did I mention "screw hustle culture"? McKeown's point, at least at this juncture in the book, is that oftentimes emergencies aren't, and the essentialist is not only able to differentiate between emergent and non-emergent situations, but to forestall the non-emergent situations or, at times, ignore them entirely. Of course, in the corporate setting that most of us work in, you can't just be flippant about disregarding the needs of others, but, with practice and in the right context, you can set the tone with coworkers and even bosses regarding your boundaries. If you can't, you need to decide if that's a "you" problem or a company culture problem. You may or may not be able to change an entire company's culture (likely not), but you can do some things to influence your island, so to speak. McKeown addresses that here. I'm not going to go over all of the ins and outs, because I would just be repeating what he said. You really do need to read it for yourself.

Is this book a life-changer? Not for me. There are some things as a mid-level manager that are intractable and that I just have to live with. But I have discovered that, in the right context, I have more power to decide what is essential than I would ever have given myself credit for, or ever had the courage to enact, even five years ago. If I would have encountered this book several years ago, I think it would have had even less of an effect on me than it has, simply because I have made a conscious effort only in the past year or so to really try to simplify and declutter my life physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I've found that minimalism is hard work. If you think that slow living is simple, you are in for a lot of disappointment and cognitive dissonance. You have to work at working less, but there is a pathway. Actually, there are a number of pathways. Essentialism is just one aspect of minimalism and, I'd argue, a minor one, at that. As part of a curriculum on learning to live more slowly and intentionally (and that is a BIG syllabus, I can assure you), Essentialism is definitely helpful. But I don't think it's a good doorway into the slow life of intentionality. Pardon the horrid pun that you knew was coming, but it's not essential, at least not as a whole. Helpful, absolutely. And a part of the journey, to be sure. But only one piece of a much larger puzzle.

Still, there are parts I will be reading again. The section on "Play" is, I think, critical. As is the section on "editing". This isn't a master-class, but there are clearly some gems, some of them are essential, but not the whole thing. And what is essential for you is going to be different than what is essential for me. It's a personal journey. Hopefully you can find some key waypoints in this little box of maps.

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2024 on Goodreads

 

2024 on Goodreads by Various
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I kept my reading goal to 11 books this year because I had plans to read some BIG ones. Fact is, I got in a couple of BIG ones, but not nearly the amount I had anticipated. As always, some books came fluttering along out of thin air and grabbed me by the shirt collar (at least the idea of reading them did). Yes, Finnegans Wake is still sitting on my shelf, squatting and staring at me. And there are others I had intentions on that will have to wait for 2025. Sorry, not sorry. I read what the voices in my head tell me to read.

As far as superlatives go this far, here you go:

Book that will stick in my brain and never depart, living rent-free in my head till I die (I might call this "a classic"): Dhalgren

Book with the most surprises in the form of authors whom I've never read, but will read more of: Appendix N: The Eldritch Roots of Dungeons and Dragons

Book that will actually affect my day-to-day life in a most useful way: The Bullet Journal Method

Most stunning presentation, and the contents matched the beauty of the artifact: Cathode Love

Most elegant and profound (also living rent-free in my head): The Explosion of a Chandelier

Most intellectually challenging (and rewarding): On Poetic Imagination and Reverie

And if I took the time, I'm sure I could find or invent categories of all the other books I read this year. It was a good year of reading.

Next year, I am keeping my challenge low. I haven't decided on a number of books I plan on reading yet. I'd like to think I could read through all 22 on my TBR shelf (I have physical copies of all of them) plus the three I'm currently reading, but I am planning on doing a few re-reads this year, which will slow my consumption of new books. This is by design, as I have dubbed 2025 The Year of Simplification, and I plan on sticking with that. If you must know, some of the books I will be re-reading are: Malpertuis, The Jade Cabinet (I recently got back in contact with Rikki and am writing a handwritten letter to her now), and I will be actually doing Thousand Year Old Vampire (take that as you will, Lestat). So, I have a busy reading year ahead of me.

As for writing, look for a short story collection to come out from Underland Press this year, sooner rather than later. I'm pretty excited about this. This will collect many of the short stories that have been published by boutique publishers in South America and Eastern Europe, which are very difficult to find and incredibly expensive, once found. I am currently working on two short stories, one just about to be finished up, and another in the early stages. We shall see what else I can write this year, but I'm planning on a year of good output.

Part of the reason for my optimism on writing output is that after grousing a lot about social media and all of its issues, I am essentially withdrawing from Twitter (this actually happened years ago, though I still have an account open), Bluesky, Facebook, and Instagram. My social media of choice will be Goodreads, my blog, and handwritten letters to a select few individuals - the original social media. If you'd like to be one of the select few, message me here and get me your address. No promises, as I have a handful of "must write to" people, but I will do what I can. Since I won't be polluting my life with social media of the most banal kind (see above), I will have a bit more time to write to friends, and some of you here I do consider friends, so don't be shy, message me. And I don't expect a handwritten reply in return. I'll do me, you do you.

On to 2025!

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2025: The Year of Simplification

 2024 was, for me, a year of change and renewal. The previous year, 2023, was one of ever-escalating stress at the workplace. In January of 2024, driving home from another long, depressing day of work, I hit a deer, which was the impetus for a major life change, namely: changing my place of employment. Another change was that, after having the car totaled, we decided to try and make it as a one-car family. My wife works from home and my new job is an 8 minute drive away, so we've made it work. She has three days off, so on her off day, when I have to work, she drops me off and picks me up. 

All that said, I've been taking time to assess 2024 using YearCompass. It's been a very valuable exercise to examine the previous year, acknowledge the successes and challenges and failures, and move on to the next year. If you're one who likes to do New Years resolutions, or if, instead, like me, you just want to process the previous year and prepare for the next, I strongly recommend it. 

Over the last couple of months, I've taken a significant amount of time to study Minimalism and Slow Living. I've found several Youtube channels to be of great help. The three most helpful and practical ones I've watched (and subscribed to) are Seve - Sunny Kind of Journey,  Gabe Bult, and The Swiss Simpleton. Honorable mentions go out to Olly Staniland, Poetry of Slow Life, and Helena Woods. There are others that have proven helpful, but they might only peripherally touch on these lifestyles, or some (and I find these the most insidious, if I'm being honest) use Minimalism as a leverage to productivity/Hustle. And I am not about the hustle life. I'm about simplicity.

This hasn't always been the case. My dad was in the military, an NCO for as long as I was being raised, so we led a fairly middle middle-class life. I was a child in the 70s, a teen in the 80s (yes, you did miss out, if you must know, they really were that great), the perfect receptacle for the decidedly American (at the time, though this has spread elsewhere like a disease) culture of buying and holding on to whatever you possible could. I've heard that the poorest people value, above all, relationships, the richest value connections, and the middle-class values . . . stuff. As I examine myself and those I come in contact with, I've found that to be a good thumbnail assessment, with many exceptions, of course, but generally speaking, I've found it accurate. So, I was firmly planted in the camp that values stuff. My parents did nothing to discourage that. In fact, my Mom was a bit of a hoarder, when it came to physical possessions and both of my parents ended up in financial counseling because of their indebtedness and addiction to gambling (which, thankfully, didn't really manifest until I was out of the house). My parents taught me many great life lessons, but how to manage one's wants was not one of them. 

Fast forward through life to today, with me firmly planted in middle age. My parents are gone, and I have unlearned many of the things I learned that I wish I had not and have benefitted from many of the things I learned for which I am eternally grateful. Mom and Dad did the best they knew how, and I am the beneficiary of the things they taught me, whether intentionally or not. Now, it's my opportunity to leverage the past and look to the future.

In the manner of Seve, I have dubbed 2025 The Year of Simplification. The changes of 2024 have set the stage for this year of simplification, wherein I am striving to take the best lessons I've learned over the course of life and stripping out the un-essential. I could not have done so back in 2023, simply because of the emotional duress and mental health challenges I was undergoing. I was not in a good place. Now, I am on a stable footing and ready to move on, to calve off the things that I have been burdened with and with which I have burdened myself. Here is the simple plan.

1. I will simplify Technologically. I recently committed some money to buying a "dumb" phone, which I am planning on supplanting my "smart" phone when the Mudita Kompakt arrives sometime late next spring. I am also saving to buy the Boox Go 10.3, an E-ink reader with android capabilities. I won't be abandoning technology, but by adding some friction to the interchange, I am hoping to stall myself in order to divert to more analog activities (something I've been working on for some time now) when I am tempted to dwell too long in the digital sphere.
2. I will simplify Digitally. Yes, I will still keep my Instagram, Blusky, and Facebook accounts open, but they shall join the eerie ether-zone that my Twitter account is in, namely, full dormancy. Will I occasionally check these accounts? Probably. But by not having any of the apps on my phone or my tablet, I will have to make an intentional choice to go to my PC to engage in any of them, again, adding friction to the interchange, a moment to stop and think "is this really what I want to do with my time right now?" I will still be on Goodreads and, of course, here at the blog, but I am otherwise severely limiting my social media interactions. Part of this will involve writing more physical letters (something I actually love to do) to a limited number of friends. 
3. I will calm my mind. I'm not talking about a full-on meditative practice here, though that might come into play down the road. Here I will strive to further leverage my existing Bullet Journal practice I've read and re-read the Bullet Journal Method and have taken time on Youtube to see what others have done with their own bullet journals. Here, I must point out Jashii Corrin and Elsa Rhae and Barron for their wonderful guides to bullet journaling. Because of what I've learned, I will be making more time to be introspective and have an appropriate "space" (physically and mentally) as a receptacle for this introspection. Part of this will be a gratitude journal to help me to see the good in my days, in my circumstances, and in other people.
4. I will simplify Physically. I've already pointed out, above, some of the many Minimalism practitioners. Part of Minimalism is loving what you have, minimizing physical clutter, and putting the reins on consumerism. Yes, I have already outlined two pieces of technology that I'll be buying, but I am buying them intentionally and foregoing a lot of other things (meaning physical stuff) in order to purchase these tools. I have other "big ticket" items on my list: expensive, high quality tools for living, for example, or experiences that I hope to have that require more than just a bit of change. Of course, I won't stop buying books, but I am going to be very picky about getting new ones. In fact, a couple of weeks ago, I went through my books, tabletop games and supplements, clothes, and knick-knacks (I have a lot of these in my writing area) and ended up donating two huge bags of books and a garbage bag full of clothes and knick-knacks to a local charity shop, and selling some of my higher-end books and tabletop games and supplements for credit at the stores at which I sold them. Granted, the book money immediately went to a book I've been eyeing for some time now, but I shrank my book collection by about thirty books in exchange for one very nice signed edition of Centipede Press's edition of Quentin Crisp's I Reign in Hell. From what I understand, this may be one of the last signed copies "out there" available now. Crisp is a writer I love, and now I have what is sure to become an heirloom for my kids and grandkids, as well as providing me with hours of enjoyment. Win-win! And I have a large amount of credit waiting at one of my favorite places to buy RPG games and supplements online, just waiting for that perfect treasure to come through. 
5. I will prioritize Experience. Here, I mean a couple of things. First, I want to savor the moments. I'm only getting older, and when I think of the frantic pace that my life has been at times, I see a black hole of missed opportunities to enjoy the people and places that surround me. Did I say "screw Hustle culture" yet? I'm saying so now. I'm ready to live more slowly, whenever it is in my control, and take my time. I was thinking a lot lately about what I missed the most about my childhood, and it's the sense of time. Time seemed almost endless then. And while I'm glad to have learned the many lessons I've learned through the loss of innocence, I want to regain that sense of time as a friend to embrace, rather than an enemy to be run away from. With my new employment, I get an hour lunch break, and more often than not, I take the majority of that time to walk down the Ice Age Trail (which is conveniently less than a quarter mile from my work) and go for a languid walk, sometimes reading a book (a print book, not digital), sometimes not. This has helped me a great deal to decompress in what can sometimes be a very stressful job (though way less stressful than the place I fled). I've learned, during those walks, to pay attention to my surroundings and really absorb the experience. I've gained perspective on the shortness and fragility of life which has given me resolve to practice all the things I'm outlining here. One thing I noticed in my examination of the past year is that I only went to one live concert (outside of high school concerts we might have attended to see friends' kids perform). Usually, I try to hit a few shows. Now, I am picky about the shows I see, but I might have missed a couple of opportunities along the way. I'm going to keep my eyes open for more shows this year. Also in the realm of experience: we are going on a cruise to Alaska this summer. I'm guessing there are going to be some memorable experiences there! And, of course, I'll be going to Schimpkon, Garycon, and Gameholecon, as far as it is in my power. I can't live without gathering with my tribe frequently!

This is my blueprint. Are things going to go wrong? Absolutely. Will I hit all of my goals perfectly? I hope not, otherwise I'm not truly experiencing life. In any case, this is how I will strive to live my life this year: more simply, more intentionally, more meaningfully. A special thanks to all those who make this possible. 

I'll end with a poem which I first heard on one of the aforementioned Slow Living/Minimalism Youtube channels. It sums things up rather nicely:

My Symphony

To live content with small means.

To seek elegance rather than luxury,

    and refinement rather than fashion.

To be worthy, not respectable,

    and wealthy, not rich.

To study hard, think quietly, talk gently, 

    act frankly, to listen to stars, birds, babes, 

    and sages with open heart, to bear all cheerfully, 

    do all bravely, await occasions, hurry never.

In a word, to let the spiritual, 

    unbidden and unconscious, 

    grow up through the common

This is to be my symphony

William Henry Channing

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Deadmau5 aut Mus Mortuus?

 My work allows me an hour lunch. I try to consume all my needed food (gotta get that protein in) before lunch, if at all possible. That way, I have an entire hour free to mentally decompress. My workplace is about a one minute drive from a beautiful branch of the Ice Age Trail on one hand, and, across the street, the Janesville Optimist Community Park. The Ice Age Trail is a paved, slowly-winding path through prairie (with restored prairie grasses) and wood (with deer that are so tame, they don't spook until you are very close to them - I've wondered if they might eat out of your hand, but haven't been brave enough to test this yet). The Optimist Community Park has dirt and grass trails that cover 35 square acres.

On my lunch breaks, I like to take a half hour or thereabouts (or even ten minutes, if I have errands to run) and read while I walk. That's how I read the book I most recently finished, Ad Infinitum. I'll also occasionally turn on the Derive App and see where it takes me. And sometimes, I just walk in, stand, and listen to the birds (it's a bird-watcher's paradise). Whatever it takes, I go there to reconnect with my inner self during the work day. I'm dreading winter, when temps and conditions will make this walk far less likely. Maybe I'll use some of that time for writing.

Recently, like within the last two weeks, I came across a dead mouse in the Optimist Community Park. I felt sorry for the little guy, laying there with flies buzzing around him. So I gave him a little private funeral. My Latin is not great, so I had to settle for the (probably incorrectly-structured) text: Mus mortuus non respirare. I then gathered a few prairie flowers and laid them by him. The next day, the flowers were still there, but Mr. Mus was gone, likely eaten by crows. Of course, I knew that he (honestly, I have no idea how to check for a mouse's gender, nor do I want to know) was going to be eaten, whether by bird, bug, or bacteria. But I wanted to celebrate his little life, really celebrate life itself, as I am closer to the end than the beginning of my own. 

Truth be told, I hike the Ice Age Trail more than the Optimist Community Park trails. So fast forward a couple of days and, lo and behold, I find another mouse dead on the trail, likely stricken by a bicycle. Well, that was odd, I thought. What are the chances that a mouse would be schmucked by a bike while crossing an eight-foot wide paved path?

Apparently VERY high.

Over the course of the last two weeks, I've found five dead mice on my short hikes. And I just happened to get there before the scavengers did. Five dead mice in two weeks on the same stretch of tales. This is how conspiracy theories start. It's like the beginning to an X-Files episode. 

So, in all, I held five very brief mouse funerals. I admit that I checked the trail both ways before plucking prairie flowers. I know how prairie flower aficionados are. Had I been caught by one of them, I likely would have ended up paralyzed, stuffed into a bearskin to be burned alive. But I was able to dodge the prairie flower inquisitors and gave my little bit of homage to these little guys:

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Mus Mortuus Non Respirare

 I've probably written that sentence incorrectly. There are tens of thousands of people who could correct me if I'm wrong. At least I think there are. But now it's my turn to learn Latin.

Where does this poor dead mouse come in? Well, I have to admit, it's a long stretch from this erstwhile rodent to this page, but in my mind it's not far at all. 

I've been "studying" Latin for a year now. Meaning I've been doing Duolingo. Meaning, I haven't really been studying, but more . . . familiarizing myself with Latin. 

This winter, I intend to begin an honest attempt to learn some Latin. I understand, I'll probably die before I'm fluent. But I'm going to give it my best college try.

Meaning, I'm going to treat it like a class. Sort of. 

As you know, I recently finished I, Claudius. And I'm currently reading Ad Infinitum: A Biography of Latin. I have SPQR lined up to read, as well. And I've listened to a fair clip of The History of Rome podcast. And, of course, I've been trying to translate the little quips from Asterix and Obelix since my youth. 

So, I've read around the language and dabbled a bit. But now it's time to get a little more serious.

I've got a little thumb drive with something like 200 Latin primers. Nice pickup from Etsy. But only recently have I picked up some honest to goodness books. Physical books. Something I can sink my eyes and brain into. They are:

Lingua Latina per se Illustrata: pars 1: Familia Romana, because I hear that this is truly the best book to learn Latin from (Reddit told me so)

Winne Ille Pu, and this one for a couple of reasons, not least of which is that when I lived in Italy, my third grade teacher, Mrs. Wells, who was the best teacher I had until college, read us Winnie the Pooh with all the voices, just like in the movies and when the movie came out at the Air Force base we lived at at the time (San Vito de Normani, if you must know), I stood in line for an hour only to have the theater sell out as we were ten people back in line and I cried and I cried and I cried. Yeah, I was a sensitive kid. But now I get Winnie the Pooh in Latin, and I will always hear in my mind Mrs. Wells, who could have slotted in on any of those movies and given all those professional voice actors a run for their money. No, I'm serious. She was *that* good!

Perseus et Medusa, because I have this recent fascination about Medusa that I can't explain and I'm fairly certain she is going to creep into my next piece of fiction. Almost 100% certain, in fact. 

And, finally, Medieval Latin Lyrics, because I understand the language was very different during the Middle Ages than it had been during the Classical Era and I want a taste of them knights-in-shining-armor kicking but while poorly-quoting Cicero. 

I think I'm going to just dive into all four at once. And I might also give a shot at De Spectris Lemuribus et Magnis because who doesn't like books about ghosts in Latin? 

I'm curious how others have fared in studying Latin outside of the context of a formally-taught course in a bonified educational institution? I suspect that it would benefit me to try that. Maybe later. Much later. When I can take college courses for free because it's interesting to watch retirees march to their grave with their nose in a book. 

Did I mention a book about ghosts in Latin? 

By the way, yes, I laid those flowers by the dead mouse. He just looked so vulnerable there, and I wanted him to be remembered. Plus, it gave me a reason to practice what little Latin I do know, even if it's wrong. Besides, when the world is cold and dead outside and I'm trying to just survive the Wisconsin winter, I can look at this post and think back on the very hot day I took that walk and realize that there's always another spring coming. Well . . . almost always. 

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The Bullet Journal Method

 

The Bullet Journal Method: Track the Past, Order the Present, Design the Future by Ryder Carroll
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I stumbled into bullet journaling back in mid-2015. My usage was sporadic and thin, and my bullet journal remains thin to this day. I have a month calendar on one side, and bulleted/iconified lists on the other of things to do, things to study, and things to buy. Looking back, I missed many, many months, and I absolutely did not use the bullet journal up to its full potential. Now that I am making a conscious effort to be more intentional in bringing my life out of so much social media (don't worry, I'll stick around for Goodreads, my blog, discord, and substack) and making the ongoing effort of re-establishing myself in the analog world, I find that the bullet journaling I've been doing has been slipshod, lackluster, inadequate. I need more.

So, I started following the founder and author of The Bullet Journal Method, Ryder Carroll, on Youtube (a pseudo-social media that I am not giving up), which just whetted my appetite even more. I didn't want to spend an exorbitant amount of money to attend Bullet Journal U (at least not yet), I did order the book the second I saw it.

Well, the book has met and exceeded my expectations. And while much of the information is available "out there," I suspect that some of it is not. Besides, I like having the reference handy in a good old hardcopy book, because that's how I roll. This allows me to peruse things at my leisure wherever the heck I like. It also facilitates me memorizing parts that are important to me, as I have great difficulty memorizing things on a computer screen. I am a visual and kinesthetic learner, so having the book in my hands while I study is important to me. Having the physical book makes referencing things, quite literally, handy.

I won't go into much detail on the guts of the book. It is both a workbook for crafting your own "bujo," and a meditative piece on the art of intentionality. And while the book is divided into five sections (1. The Preparation, 2. The System, 3. The Practice, 4. The Art, and 5. The End), the philosophy of bujo and the nuts and bolts of the actual journaling are threaded together throughout. I find this to be a reinforcing feature, not a division-inducing bug. If you want to find sections focusing more on one than the other, that's easy enough to do. But The System and The Practice are integrated in a sort of familial yin-yang back-and-forth that is unavoidable in writing this sort of guide.

Would I recommend jumping right in and absorbing it all at once? Maybe, maybe not. In my case, that would not have worked. I had to spend nine years on the "thin end of the wedge" before I was ready for the thick end. If I had dived into the deep end, knowing myself, I would have faltered even more than before in those early days. Now that I have a well-established habit of doing the most very basic practice of bullet-journaling (which served me well for many years) and I feel the need, I'm ready to deepen my immersion. Perhaps you're one of those obsessive people who has to do it all at once - go for it! Or, if you're like me, get the book and start slow. As you notice and appreciate the difference it makes over the long haul, you will likely want to do more.

Again, part of the reason for me wanting to do more is to deepen my analog immersion and have reason to avoid the time-wasting of social media; to live with intention. I'm excited to have this tool in my box for that excursion. If my prior experience is any indicator, this will help immensely!

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If you like my writing and want to help my creative endeavors, ko-fi me at https://ko-fi.com/forrestaguirre. Every little bit is seen and appreciated! Thank you!